Why the housing market is going to drive huge profits to Department retail
Well bois I’m just going through my first home buying process now.
Let me just say this market is absolute dogshit.
Ive been doing 20, maybe 30 blowjobs a week at the local wendy’s dumpster just to afford a 3% down payment and refreshing Zillow the whole time. Suck, refresh, swallow, refresh, regurgitate, refresh. Its my life now.
You should see this shit. Local farmhouse, 30 minutes from the city, built 1907. 300k. Floorboards are rotting. I wish I was joking. Built before WW1 and it’s worth 2 lambos? It’s not even 1.5k square feet. My agent said I need a 20k appraisal gap to stay competitive in the bidding war so I tried selling NFT’s that I stole from the chimpanzee dude but they found out and took all my blowjob money and broke my kneecaps. Like wtf, how can they be mad that I stole digital shit? It’s still on their hard drive. I just right clicked and save as. Easy. Fucking don’t understand NFT’s man.
I realized I need to be throwing all my money into Home Depot FD’s, not paying my medical bills or shit like that. Debt is just a number, who cares?. Because the only thing young fuckheads like me can afford are these dogshit homes so were all gonna buy this garbage and paint them up like we see on Pinterest. And when they bubble pops and we cant sell, we’ll just move to California and live on the beach until the sand comber shreds us into red goo. You know, the good life.
What else can we do? Its all we can afford. Buy a turd then polish it. Seriously. I just closed on a 300k house and the foundation is sliding off the hill and theres a gas leak but I’m like fuck it I’ll huff the gas and use bottle jacks to pump up the foundations back to normal. I don’t give a fuck. I just don’t want to rent, because they’re jacking the rents up 30% at renewal time.
What the fuck has this world come to. Id post positions, but I can’t afford them right now. Next paycheck though. All in on those HD FD’s. They got to be making bank off this fixer upper market.
Submitted February 19, 2022 at 02:58AM by iyioi
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