Shut the fuck up with your stupid conspiracy theories via /r/wallstreetbets

Shut the fuck up with your stupid conspiracy theories

Every fucking time I check this subreddit, I have to read some highly upvoted thread from some absolute moron, even by wsb standards, “WHY THE LIZARD PEOPLE PREVENTED SPY FROM GOING -40% TODAY” or some absolutely tarted again shit like that. The stock market acted unpredictably today? What a fucking surprise. If only there weren’t centuries worth of people talking about how the markets can be unpredictable.

Russia invaded Ukraine and stocks melted up? Must be some hedge fund market maker SEC conspiracy, not like most stocks are fucking >50% or more down, but since the morons here can’t remember shit longer than 2 hours ago, it’s gotta be a conspiracy, not the result of uncertainty unwinding or the dust settling or america remember it’s a fucking wartime economy or some other shit. What the fuck do I know? I’m just another one of you guys.

GME going to squeeze any day now for 1.5 years after already squeezing 100x a year ago because it rose 10% to be a whopping 60% down because cohen tweeting an NFT of his fucking fart is surely the catalyst?

Your favorite stock is down? Gotta be short sellers and market makers fucking you, not you YOLOing into some stupid meme stock

Shut the fuck up with your QAnon level theories. Buy puts, buy calls, whatever, don’t get fucking butthurt and blame the corpse of danish traders rising from the dead on why your puts are -60%

Edit: most of the salty fucks in the comments are regulars over at gamestore subreddit


Submitted February 24, 2022 at 11:57PM by CyclicNature
via reddit