META is dead. Stop trying to revive it. via /r/wallstreetbets #stocks #wallstreetbets #investing


META is dead. Stop trying to revive it.

Alright, WSB, there’s far too much “sHoUld I bUy tHe dIp” about Meta (FB) in the daily discussion thread, so I’m here to completely disavow any thought that FB is worth buying.

tl;cr: FB is a cold, dead thing.

Analysis: Do you go on Facebook? Really? If you do, you’re likely about to collect Social Security, so congrats on being able to buy FDs forever and remain on your diet of vienna sausages and chicken ramen.

For the rest of us, however, FB is a mark of a previous chapter of our lives, a chapter where we realized “hey, ya know what? Maybe I DON’T need sparkly glitter gifs or the latest My Chemical Romance song on my social media profile. And who the fuck is Tom to think he can just be my friend!? Fuck you, Tom.”

See, Tom was smart, though. Tom sold his shit at the top, the apex of MySpace. And we saw what happened when it declined.

Facebook is not MySpace, because the owner of MySpace was smart. Zucc is delusional.

Let’s look over all the DD that FB bulls spew and kill them, one-by-one:

You know who else does advertising? AM radio stations do advertising. Oh, you’re surprised that’s still a thing? Exactly. And even though they technically do advertising, you think anyone is still listening to AM radio? You’re right, there are still AM radio users. Here’s the Venn diagram of AM radio listeners and Facebook users:

It’s a fucking circle. One, big, early-bird supper eating, 35-in-a-50 driving, “how do I YouTube?” fucking circle.

So that advertising thing is dumb. Your local grocery store free paper sells ads, too. Think they’re deserving of a $589 Billion market cap? Hell, they’re barely deserving up the prominent spot next to the Duraflame logs and lawn mulch.

Okay, first off, shut up. Secondly, the Metaverse is two things: it’s stupid, and it’s stupid with a high barrier to entry. The people whose lives are the saddest – so sad that they’d rather retreat to a fake-ass Wii-avatar world than, I dunno, eat a salad – are the same people who can’t afford all the infrastructure it would take for them to pretend to be a woman and catfish other 3D-cartoon dorks who are trying to do the same to them.

$ROPE is WAY more affordable than that stupid headset.

And what are they going to DO there? They still need to step into their sad meatspace existence to do things like poop or help Mom bring in the groceries. But advertising to them is going to be big business? Advertising WHAT exactly?

The people who can most afford a ticket to Zuccland are the people who least need – or even want – a ticket.

I should hit you in the mouth.

You know what, I’ll give you this. Because as we all have seen, the stupidity of this particular crowd that give shit-ass companies market caps that are WAAAAAY more than warranted. So yeah, if you want to treat FB as the next lol meme stock, then who am I to stop you? No one, that’s who.

For the rest of you who aren’t total crayon-eating morons, think about FB and their value proposition:

Instagram? Fukt. TikTok would like a word.

WhatsApp? Fukt. Isn’t monetized outside of the data it provides, and with the changing platform policies as it relates to privacy and monetizing data, WhatsApp is going to be little more than a less-secure Signal. Your dick pics are not as safe as you believe them to be.

Facebook itself? Yup. Fukt. Still around, serving up the same shitty boomer memes, the same pictures of self-important bullshit with comments that are barely spelled correctly, let alone interesting enough to secure more active users.

Oh, that reminds me: Facebook users are dumb as fuck. No, really. These boomer tools can’t distinguish your/you’re or there/their/they’re. You think they’re going to be useful for long? Nope, they’re all about to be fucking batteries. And we all know what happens to batteries.

In closing, we’ve witnessed Meta’s demise, and I feel comfortable calling time-of-death.

Now who wants to be in my Top 8?

EDIT: Positions:

Boomer brokerage: Long VOO

WSB gambling hall: VIXY $15 3/4p.

Submitted February 17, 2022 at 12:54AM by MurrayInBocaRaton
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