It all started in year 2023 when the government swapped leaves for toilet paper in the CPI.
Leading economist said the environmental and homeopathic benefit of using leaves means that there is the same if not more utility in using leaves to wipe your ass than Charmin.
This ground breaking substitution paved the way for all the other changes to come. Walking replaced vehicles as the health benefits are vastly superior to the death trap car and rents were completely converted to the metaverse in which zuck graciously gave us free rent in exchange for our every thought uploaded to his servers. At this point China was just giving us goods for free and even shipping for free as well in exchange for pieces of paper with the writing “IOU”. All jobs in the US was made into printing these IOU’s and loading them on the emptied containerships heading back to china.
So at this point almost everything was eliminated from the CPI and every print came out to exactly 1.9%. The fed was very upset that they could not achieve their mandate of 2% inflation so they implemented a central bank digital currency in which interest rates in savings accounts instantly plunged to exactly -420.69%. Spy that day when from 5.3 quintillion to undefined in a matter of minutes and later was changed into a complex number system as it cannot be represented by real numbers.
I had finally won! I did it, I had a call option on rocket right before the release of the CBDC and the option went to infinity, I could finally buy myself Charmin and wipe my ass with the comfort we had in 2022. But alas, there was no charmin to buy.
Submitted February 28, 2022 at 04:10PM by ShillerPE02
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