How to buy Russian Bonds? via /r/wallstreetbets #stocks #wallstreetbets #investing

How to buy Russian Bonds?

Gather round fellow retards, apes and bears I have something for you.

So you wanna buy Russian Bonds right ? For those of you who don’t know a bond is a financial product that you buy and then they deposit money into your fucking account. Imagine that.

Currency Risk :

Keep in mind if you buy Foreign bonds you have currency risk. In order to hedge that I suggest buying some Robux, the losses you incur with your Rubles should be balanced out by Robux.

So you figured instead of getting fucked by Jpow or war, why not PUTIN the money for some good work. It won’t hurt anyone (of your portfolios) I promise.

Getting a European/Russian Broker :

First let’s talk about how can you buy US Bonds, actual ones not the ETFs. First : you’ll need a real broker. So Vanguard, Fidelity, Schwab or Merryl should be home. RH is shit because both Vlads don’t vibe with sell buttons.

Ok but you came here to know how to buy Russian ones, so let’s continue.

First of keep in mind they will be converted to Soviet Bonds in 2023 so they might be some liquidity problems when your bonds become nationalized.

Get a Euro or Russian Broker.

  1. Don’t go to Fintech Brokers they don’t accept US clients.
  2. Choose a real reputable broker associated with a bank like Deutsche Bank, ING, Societe Generale and Consors Bank, Barclays should be fine too. Idk any Russian brokers so let’s skip that.

Now the juicy part, buying the Bonds. -Go to a website like this : -Make sure you have Google translate on. Copy the ISIN, paste that into your Brokerage, -Pay them lunch money (yes there are free lunches in Europe for brokers ) aaaand it’s gone.

Now Wait for Russian central bank to ban coupon payments :

Still congrats with Vlad fucking you once again, he thanks you for the free money he gets to keep. At least this outperformed my RBLX Calls, but NANCY, that’s another story….

Submitted March 04, 2022 at 10:58PM by musiro77
via reddit