Depression and YOLO betting
Just thought I’d share and maybe someone else who’s going through it can relate.
Some preface, I’m a medical student and have a father who’s recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer.
Been dealing with depression for many years since highschool and battling with feelings of inadequacy. Developed some compulsions towards outlets such as porn, exercise, video games and more recently gambling. But to no avail, I kept chasing, kept hoping that if I just became strong enough, high ranked enough, or rich enough the problems and the pains would go away. But they never did; over a year ago after some bad bets and YOLOs I lost over an aggregate sum of 100k. It was painful, but also liberating in some ways.
Over the past year I’ve saved up, tutored, stacked my loans and as the money began to add up my obsession to make money came back. I somehow through sheer luck and autism made more money then I started with, and now am sitting on more money then I know what to do with. In the same stroke of luck, and irony I would find out during that same time my beloved father is sick. No amount of money could change my problems. I’ve been chasing pipe dreams and lost focus of what was important in life. My depression still remains, and I still don’t know the answer. But, I do know that consuming myself with making stacks and clout wasn’t it.
I love you all my fellow apps, we all have our own paths, but I just wanted to share mine.
Submitted March 16, 2022 at 08:27PM by Ashkonmag1
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